Reconnecting You

Dear friends,


I have resumed writing or blogging in a new platform. Please kindly redirect to:

The Andrew Ho Weblog

Have a nice day.

My Last Entry

In the first of May

It came like an appalling wind, no one was expecting it, including myself.....


There is for a certain reason why Xiaxue is one of the best bloggers in Singapore. And to me she is indeed the best blogger, because she inspires me.........to stop blogging.


I've screwed up my life - Xiaxue


The link above was an entry written by Xiaxue 3 years ago in 2004. During then Xiaxue talked about her secondary school life. Of how she started very well, but ended lousily towards her upper secondary. And how one led to another.....

I told myself, during sec 3, that I will not follow the usual normal scholar's route for several reasons:

1) I will be learning useless things such as F maths which will not gain me any money in future. These useless information will be taking up extra brain space and not coming to any use at all. In contrast, Polytechnics provide useful skills and knowledge.

2) I will do so well in Poly that I will go into University just the same.

3) I no longer need to wear flat shoes so I will not be so ashamed of my height.

4) I will be armed with both a dip and a degree when I go out to work in future, which is better than just a degree.


Most unfortunately, I think the decision to go into SP was the worst mistake I made in my life.

In Poly no one cares if you do well or not, so we were left to survive on our own. I was lazy, undriven, and not motivated. My priorities went to other unimportant stuff, such as BLOGGING (but at least good things came out of it, thank god)! My results were only as good as the average student, and I cannot go into University with a scholarship as I thought I could have. - Xiaxue

Two things Xiaxue and I do share in common, she does well in English Literature and she dreamt to become a lawyer. In the SPM examination, I got 6As, 2 Bs and 3Cs. For the 3Cs, it was Physics, Biology and Chemistry. And a B4 in Additional Maths. I was more than surprise to receive a result like that. In Malaysia, when a Chinese gets such results, you can't really survive. What more to say getting your preferred subjects in your chosen Local Universities. I was a failure, but in the name of Jesus, I see not what I was but what I could be.


Blogging is really fun, but again, to be a good blogger, and to make people read your blog, to bookmark it and come again and again. It takes more than just a casual blogger. And it takes much more time, thoughts and energy too.

If I had studied hard then and went into JC, I might be taking a Law degree now. No one can say I am stupid except fellow Law students, but that's ok. The people at insipid forums are not even in the league to discuss my intellect. My starting pay will be $2,500, and I'll possibly set up a partnership with EK called Wong & Cheng partnership.

As Wong kindly informed me, my name would have sounded like this:

Cheng Yan Yan Wendy, NUS LLBS (Hons)

BUT ALAS! What was I thinking? What do I have now? -Xiaxue

People asked me since I got my As in subjects that is more related to Arts, why don't I just continue form 6 in the Arts stream and forfeit the Science. The reason is simple, I never believe in giving up. I won 2 trophies in public speaking by telling people one thing - never give up, pursue your dreams. Even though sometimes they may seem too far you fail to see the possibilities in fulfilling it. I do not brag, but I am a charismatic speaker when I speak of things I firmly believe in. I do it like I own the stage, the room, the audience, the world and all that's in it. I believe people do not lose out because they are lousy, people lose out because they choose to give up.


Yet there is something I need to know, I have to learn that in pursuing one's dream, you do not only have to talk the talk, but also walk the walk. For talk is cheap, but there has to be steps taken and works driven to achieve. God cannot multiply the works of your hands to a hundred fold if what you put in from the very beginning is zero. 100 x 0 = 0


I can easily spend time doing pointless things 2 years from now, but not now, not in such a time like this for me.

I shall end this bitter blog entry with a gentle reminder to myself that I should listen to my mother's advice in future. "Du shu hao," she used to tell me. "Girl, you got the talent to study, then make use of it, don't keep playing."

To all the young kids reading this, make sure you go into JC if you can.

Meanwhile, it is time for me to prove my worth. I shall be driven and motivated from now on. Procrasination? That word will not exist in my dictionary.

By tonight, I will set up a media center for my blog, and by next month, I promise some new exciting features.

If everything goes by plan, I will be driving a SLK in three years, unless I decide on a nicer car. You wait and see. =D - Xiaxue

That piece of letter up there came from Xiaxue 3 years ago. Xiaxue, the blogger who receives 30,000 unique hits or readers in her website per day. 3 years has come and gone, today, she is very much the same her, nothing has changed. She still sounds very average financially, no SLK or a car though, very popular but not exactly practical. That's how you go with a personal blog I guess. But one thing she taught me very well:

To all the young kids reading this, make sure you go into JC if you can. -Xiaxue

I am different, I don't know whether all of us think like that of ourselves or it's just me. But I see myself very special, very unique and I am above average thoughts, average minds and average performance. That doesn't necessarily has to make me a proud person. But I refuse to fail in what I want to see myself successful. Am I saying that Xiaxue's life sucks? Absolutely not, she is living great. But what I'm saying is, I know at this moment of time, it's just better for me to do what I should be doing.

I hate this. People used to ask me what stream I was when I was in secondary school, Express, Normal Academic, or Normal Tech?

I took pride in replying, "Special."

Because that's what I am.

Now when people ask me whether I am in Poly or Uni, I can merely say Poly - and they nod, like they totally expected me to be a Poly girl, because I do not seem like the JC type. Not that Poly is an embarrassment, but if people used it as a yardstick for my worth, then I wanna say I could have gone into Uni anytime I wanted.

But I cannot say that, because there is no proof. -Xiaxue

Just in case you're wondering all these fuss I created is at all necessary. This post alone took me 3 hours to write. 1/2 an hour to recheck my sentences and whether I'm making it too hard for you to read. You want to be a good blogger? You want to be the next Xiaxue? You gotta do 1000 times better than me. Because 1000 times of me should give you 100,000 readers per day.


So for the meanwhile, this will be my last entry in this blog. Throughout this journey, I earned myself Rm20 from Ejunction ads, Rm26 USD through paypal (which I spent to buy a shirt and they charge me 9.50USD for shipping fees!), Rm10.74 from Nuffnang which I think I'll probably not be able to cash it out as I haven reached the minimum earnings, 5 crappy USD from Google Adsense (useless thing) and a 3-6 month (Rm300 per month) blogging job which I recently talked over with a guy. I wonder if he stills wanna hire me after I stop blogging. And by far my greatest achievement in blogging is having Kenny Sia blog plug me and having Xiaxue replying my comment to her post. I know, they are totally useless in getting me a permanent job, to feed my wife and kids.


Whoever you are my readers, God bless you richly. I still have 83 members in my crappy friendster fans club! Live and let live, they are all my friends.


Goodbye guys. I love you all. *Smile warmly and wave my hand as I slowly fade away, just like the movie usually does.........*

Just right before you leave a comment, I hope you could for once play this song I have below. Please do it before you leave a possibly angry, contradicting and discouraging comment. Cheers.



First of May - Bee Gees

Monallisa Smile

Kuching has more crappy restaurants these days, this is one of them that I went. It's call best berry, Kuching don't even has berries....




And in the menu, I found something that was just..... plain amazing. It's a toast by the name Monalisa Smile. Now just in case you don't know what's a Monalisa Smile, it is a painting drawn by Leonardo Da Vinci. In my mind I thought the bread was something like this......



And in the end, THIS is the real MONNALISA SMILE TOAST.




AND IT LOOKS MORE LIKE HALLOWEEN FREAKY PUMPKIN FACE!

The white round thing is honeydew.

Monnalisa on Sunglasses

And I ordered a cup of coffee that looks.....

as small as.....

This!

When Bad Writing Becomes Funny

Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay:

* He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

Joseph Romm, Washington

* She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station

* The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

Russell Beland, Springfield

* McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring

* From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Roy Ashley, Washington

* Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

* Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Russell Beland, Springfield

* Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake

Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

* Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Unknown

* He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

* The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

* Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

Russell Beland, Springfield

* Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

Jennifer Hart, Arlington

* The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.

* They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth

Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.

* John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

Russell Beland, Springfield

* The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria

* His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free

Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

* The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

Unknown

Based on an unoriginal article in the Washington Post.

Kaya & Toast again

Remember some time ago I put on this Kaya & Toast post and mentioned how bad it was. Well, it happened so that this shop didn't go bankrupt but instead, it opened another branch 3 minutes walk from my house.


As bad as I thought it is, I am an iron mouth tofu hearted person, so I gave it a second chance and visited it again.

3.15 p.m

This picture is taken by me, not the other guy(figure it out what I mean). The curry tasted better this time, but it still wasn't something worth worshiping.

Cai Kueh

And yeah, Kuching has got lots of these shops sprouting. Last time it was Kopitiam, now it's cafeterias and semi-restaurants. 'Secret Recipe' had just opened recently. But I heard the service was so bad someone stood up and shouted at them. There goes the 1 million ringgit franchise. It makes me wonder sometimes, we are opening 2 huge malls by the end of the year and constructing another Rm 270 million megamall all the while when we only have 600,000 citizens. Hmm......

Happy Manual Labours Day

To all the Slaves out there, Happy Labours Day! We shall pick 1 day to commemorate your effort in contributing to the workforce!


*Please be reminded you should continue working Mon to Fri, 8-5 after tomorrow!

My life begins in May

The last 5 months were unbelievable. I eat and sleep to wake up to sleep again. I told myself life must be more than this. However, this explains how I can update my blog so regularly you actually think I work in the press. It's not like I can't blog again when school starts but you have to agree with me when I say there are 24 hours only in a day, and much more things comes first. Mind you, I don't want to be a full time blogger. It's not a real job and it sounds stupid. Cool, but still stupid.


Anyway, May is coming and my holiday shall come to an end. let's just pay 1 minute of silence for that.


Well life moves on. And this time. It's bound to be a little different. For the past 5 years, I studied whereby every year I share class with the same faces and the same gang of friends. School policy- smart people should gang up together. And there were no surprise until SPM or 'O' level finished. Now since the time has come to make decisions and make path for ourselves, most of my close friends decided to leave for either this or that.


And me, unlike Robert Frost who said in his poetry 'two roads diverge in a yellow wood and sorry I could not travel both', I have one road and I am sorry I have to walk it...... Sijil Tinggi Pelajaran Malaysia (STPM).
Or in direct translation - Certificate for highly educated people of Malaysia.


If I'm not mistaken, it is rated as the world's no.4 toughest and pointless examination. In Malaysia, every 18 year old would prefer not to take up this examination. Almost everyone who can afford to go to college flee to college, everyone who cannot afford college flee to cheaper colleges. And the Malays go to a special programme call the Matriculation (a much easier form of A level, but is not recognised by any other country) So the leftovers are people like me and perhaps some of you. Face it, Matriculation was formed to give chance to Malays and bumiputera. Chinese and Indians that came later were perceived to be much smarter and is of course cut off from many opportunities offered by the Government. Malays and bumiputera are not stupid, they never was but they are spoilt. The longer they are spoilt the weaker they become, if Meritocracy were to be applied to our system. In 2 years time, there will be lesser of them in our local universities, but in 10 years time, they will eventually pick up and proudly says 'Chinese also not so smart lah'.


When it comes to study and education in Malaysia, I was naive before, I am not now.


It all started when I was young and I didn't know any better. I actually believed that the purpose to study is to equip myself with knowledge, to enhance my mind and become a better and intellectual person.


Siao ahh, that is for Ang Mo Lang in Americas. In Malaysia, we study hard hard is to get STRAIGHT As!


Other than that, chiak sai!


I came thus far, and no, for public exams in our country, I do not see it anymore as education. I see it as a job. This job has a target, the target is to get As.


So I got my job and I'm making myself working for 10 hours a day in order to meet my target. It's not that bad after all. Most working adults got to work 10 hours a day. If they don't perform, they either remain where they are forever or get fired. The world is round.


We may lived without wars (I don't like to call it 'in harmony') but sure this is a complicated society.


My life begins in May.

Why Blogging? (written respectfully and boringly as prefered by good people)

5 years ago, if you were to hear the word 'blog' you'd go like 'Blog? Can I eat it?'


3 reasons to blog, for fame, for girls and for money!


As you know, I have sworn to be less superficial nowsaday and people just hate me more. Someone described my writing style as similar to a durian. Some people like it some people just don't. That's mainly because I tend to write 'irreverently' many at times and I find my sense of humour there. That is an amazing illustration and I really like it. Anyway I just want to remind you that the durian is still the king of all fruit.


It's like for some religious purposes, the Pope wears a red prada and some people just don't like it. Probably that's why they came up with the movie 'The Devil Wears Prada'.




Anyway, for this entry, I'm just going to write 'respectfully', bearing in mind that underage minors are reading my blog and I should protect them from vulgar languages and..... the truth.


I was just going to talk about why we should blog. And what does blogging benefits ourselves personally. As we all know, most bloggers are sensitive when you say things like 'nobody reads your blog', ' your blog is dead', '1 average reader per day, you are your only reader?' Well of course when it comes to these hard questions and insults, the usual and also the correct responses to these people are the stereotypical 'I don't blog to let people read, I blog for myself, it's my personal journal, an account for me to look upon, I am who I am and I don't care if people don't read'.


Now just because somethings are stereotypical does not mean that they are wrong. They can be true.


We have more than 57 million blogs worldwide, and if every blogs should have 1000 readers. We'll need 57,000 million readers. That's like 10 times the population on earth. So it's technically impossible.


And yeah, there are more reasons to blog and having more or lesser readers should not discourage anyone. Blogging is fun because no.1, I can call anyone a pig in my blog. Let's try it out:

I have a friend call Kok Wee and he is a pig. Yeah, I just said you are a pig Kok Wee, bite me.

Blogging helps people express themselves like never before. Nay, it promotes reading and writing, that's exactly what Malaysian need.


I have friends, many of them, some of them are not even living in the same city as I do. They go as far west Malaysia, out of this country, out of this continent and out of this earth. (They say women are from Venus). So the years will start rolling, like it or not, as time goes by we are bound to lose contact with some of them. But now, with blogging, it is not the same anymore.

A proud alternative for mobile phones

Who says blogging is a waste of time? We are building the culture and society. What more, when we don't get to shout in the real world, we can make all the noises in this virtue world. As loud as we want until we get sued.


............I'm suddenly out of ideas after I uploaded that picture =_="


But blogging surely has more meaning than getting yourself known or putting up some crappy advertisements like I do. Probably not for some but there will be a few that just enjoy doing what they do without further unnecessary thoughts. Being innocent is just the most beautiful gift one could possess =)

1 ringgit phone

You might have noticed an 'Ejuction' advertisement under my 'sponsors' tab. For all you know Ejunction is a Kuching based website that works like Ebay. Just that it caters for Malaysian only. It was funny because when I was browsing it myself today, I found a 1 ringgit phone for sale.





The seller was so honest he even labeled the 1 ringgit LG phone as a faulty one.





Now who says only celeb blogs get to promote LG phones? Mine got it too!

I support Malaysiakini

Sarawak CM to sue Malaysiakini

I'm so happy to read this news 3 days ago. At last someone decide to poke fun at our beloved Chief Minister and get sued for alleging him to be involved in a Rm32 million corruption. In Malaysia, we get sued for 2 things. No.1, telling the truth, No.2 eat pork.


But you don't play-play. Our Minister is very Keh Si (lihai, geng, power, tok kong, whichever suits your dialect I understand my readers are mainly monkeys from Malaysia) one, you say bad things about him, you get a letter and 48 hours to say you are very sorry and you will surely stop eating pork. If you fail to do so, they will see you in court. That's why I want to be a lawyer. I don't want to stop eating pork.


However, the coolest thing is Malaysiakini refuses to apologise and they are daring our 70 year old CM to put this case on court. Now let me tell you, before this no one had ever got the balls to pluck the tiger's (CM) whisker like that. Now they aren't just plucking, they are totally shaving it's pussy.


Malaysiakini says:





Advertorial purposes:

I'm accepting full scholarships from any party to do a law degree, if you see the diamond in me, and you want me to study at your college, kindly contact me. More to read today, keep scrolling down =)

love me or hate me

I tried to be spiderman, but most people think I am a lizard

I'm sorry, I'm just upset.


Thinking minds that reads my blog, they think that when I write I tend to take my sarcasm too far most of the times. See this...

At 8:07 AM, zewt said…

i find that andrew guy... a lil... young in his thinking. sarcasm is one thing, but i think he takes it too far most of the time. just look at the way he always describe himself as hot and smart and whatever not...

oh andrew... are you reading this? haha!

Now let me tell you something, I DO NOT take my sarcasm too far MOST of the times. I take my sarcasm too far ALL the time. You will never find me writing as if the world is not revolve around me. You will never find me writing with an 'average' sum of 'sarcasm' and a average sum of errrr maybe..... stereotypical passages. If you don't like my passages, get out of my blog. You want to talk about integrity, let me tell you integrity, I'd rather have nobody reading my blog, than to suppress my opinions, thoughts, the juices and the talkshow humour I show to the world.



Oh yes, do you seriously think that I am so naive to think that I am the hottest male on earth? Have you never watched Stephen Chow's Movies?

"Kai Tai, Lei Tai Lei Keh Yong Qi Mat Yeh Ah, Lei Yao Mou Lei Hui Yan Tei Ke Kam Sao Kah, Nah, Tong Ngo Pong Pong Lei, Bei Lei Pa Tou Lei Zi Gei Liu Tun Ba La"

Translation: NOT AVAILABLE!



It takes a literature guy to understand good stuff. Look what Kenny Mah from Kennymah.wordpress.com has to say about me

Kenny Mah:

But if I may be a bit KPC and interject, I believe Andrew Ho's entry was meant to be taken in a sarcastic, sometimes self-referencing manner. He could easily be talking about his own blog, after all. Which was why I found it funny, heh heh.

That is right, let me teach you a little about literature. The first law of reading literature is, when you read a passages by an author, do not judge that piece of article base on your perspective, your mindset, your history or your preferred writing style. You should but first check up the background, the history, the writing style, the circumstances which motivate this author to write first. Without a clear background and reasonings of why would the author write this way, you will never grasps the essence of it. Especially in poetries.



Most people tend to judge things by putting others into their own shoes, but not the other way round, which is putting themselves in others.



I tell you, I'm 'so special' (in a good way of the other) you can't find anyone else that write like me in Malaysia. And because I am so, people will like me people will hate me. People will understand people will despise. It doesn't matter to me, in real life, I hate nobody I love all. In the online world......love me or hate me, hmm............doesn't make a difference, it's just blogging!



But seriously, if you don't take every piece of my passages with a little humour. Your hair will finish dropping by the end of the year. Okay, fine, to give you your ego boost back. I seriously, really really seriously, very very seriously do not think that I am very very, I mean very very good looking. People don't realise my existence because of my looks, it's my personality that counts.


It's like what Simon Cowell told Top Gear Host Jeremy Clarkson in one of his show: "You don't appear on TV because of your looks, you appear on TV because of your personality"



I write pointless things, people say I am superficial, I write seriously people say I'm insane. I think the best thing to write is still "the fucking cibai ah pek cut my queue, fuck him, he think he's older than he can cut my queue? If he's younger I'd have spat on his cibai bin."



I'm obviously not made for blogging :( but instead, greater things...... = )