The Daily Blog (2006-2007)

I view writing as an intellectual pursuit that requires much thoughts,patience,creativity and imagination.As an amateur writer,The Daily Blog is an account of my inspirations as I venture into uncharted waters to explore new horizons in literature.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

My Last Entry

In the first of May


It came like an appalling wind, no one was expecting it, including myself.....


There is for a certain reason why Xiaxue is one of the best bloggers in Singapore. And to me she is indeed the best blogger, because she inspires me.........to stop blogging.


I've screwed up my life - Xiaxue


The link above was an entry written by Xiaxue 3 years ago in 2004. During then Xiaxue talked about her secondary school life. Of how she started very well, but ended lousily towards her upper secondary. And how one led to another.....


I told myself, during sec 3, that I will not follow the usual normal scholar's route for several reasons:

1) I will be learning useless things such as F maths which will not gain me any money in future. These useless information will be taking up extra brain space and not coming to any use at all. In contrast, Polytechnics provide useful skills and knowledge.

2) I will do so well in Poly that I will go into University just the same.

3) I no longer need to wear flat shoes so I will not be so ashamed of my height.

4) I will be armed with both a dip and a degree when I go out to work in future, which is better than just a degree.


Most unfortunately, I think the decision to go into SP was the worst mistake I made in my life.

In Poly no one cares if you do well or not, so we were left to survive on our own. I was lazy, undriven, and not motivated. My priorities went to other unimportant stuff, such as BLOGGING (but at least good things came out of it, thank god)! My results were only as good as the average student, and I cannot go into University with a scholarship as I thought I could have. - Xiaxue


Two things Xiaxue and I do share in common, she does well in English Literature and she dreamt to become a lawyer. In the SPM examination, I got 6As, 2 Bs and 3Cs. For the 3Cs, it was Physics, Biology and Chemistry. And a B4 in Additional Maths. I was more than surprise to receive a result like that. In Malaysia, when a Chinese gets such results, you can't really survive. What more to say getting your preferred subjects in your chosen Local Universities. I was a failure, but in the name of Jesus, I see not what I was but what I could be.


Blogging is really fun, but again, to be a good blogger, and to make people read your blog, to bookmark it and come again and again. It takes more than just a casual blogger. And it takes much more time, thoughts and energy too.


If I had studied hard then and went into JC, I might be taking a Law degree now. No one can say I am stupid except fellow Law students, but that's ok. The people at insipid forums are not even in the league to discuss my intellect. My starting pay will be $2,500, and I'll possibly set up a partnership with EK called Wong & Cheng partnership.

As Wong kindly informed me, my name would have sounded like this:

Cheng Yan Yan Wendy, NUS LLBS (Hons)

BUT ALAS! What was I thinking? What do I have now? -Xiaxue


People asked me since I got my As in subjects that is more related to Arts, why don't I just continue form 6 in the Arts stream and forfeit the Science. The reason is simple, I never believe in giving up. I won 2 trophies in public speaking by telling people one thing - never give up, pursue your dreams. Even though sometimes they may seem too far you fail to see the possibilities in fulfilling it. I do not brag, but I am a charismatic speaker when I speak of things I firmly believe in. I do it like I own the stage, the room, the audience, the world and all that's in it. I believe people do not lose out because they are lousy, people lose out because they choose to give up.


Yet there is something I need to know, I have to learn that in pursuing one's dream, you do not only have to talk the talk, but also walk the walk. For talk is cheap, but there has to be steps taken and works driven to achieve. God cannot multiply the works of your hands to a hundred fold if what you put in from the very beginning is zero. 100 x 0 = 0


I can easily spend time doing pointless things 2 years from now, but not now, not in such a time like this for me.


I shall end this bitter blog entry with a gentle reminder to myself that I should listen to my mother's advice in future. "Du shu hao," she used to tell me. "Girl, you got the talent to study, then make use of it, don't keep playing."

To all the young kids reading this, make sure you go into JC if you can.

Meanwhile, it is time for me to prove my worth. I shall be driven and motivated from now on. Procrasination? That word will not exist in my dictionary.

By tonight, I will set up a media center for my blog, and by next month, I promise some new exciting features.

If everything goes by plan, I will be driving a SLK in three years, unless I decide on a nicer car. You wait and see. =D - Xiaxue


That piece of letter up there came from Xiaxue 3 years ago. Xiaxue, the blogger who receives 30,000 unique hits or readers in her website per day. 3 years has come and gone, today, she is very much the same her, nothing has changed. She still sounds very average financially, no SLK or a car though, very popular but not exactly practical. That's how you go with a personal blog I guess. But one thing she taught me very well:

To all the young kids reading this, make sure you go into JC if you can. -Xiaxue

I am different, I don't know whether all of us think like that of ourselves or it's just me. But I see myself very special, very unique and I am above average thoughts, average minds and average performance. That doesn't necessarily has to make me a proud person. But I refuse to fail in what I want to see myself successful. Am I saying that Xiaxue's life sucks? Absolutely not, she is living great. But what I'm saying is, I know at this moment of time, it's just better for me to do what I should be doing.


I hate this. People used to ask me what stream I was when I was in secondary school, Express, Normal Academic, or Normal Tech?

I took pride in replying, "Special."

Because that's what I am.

Now when people ask me whether I am in Poly or Uni, I can merely say Poly - and they nod, like they totally expected me to be a Poly girl, because I do not seem like the JC type. Not that Poly is an embarrassment, but if people used it as a yardstick for my worth, then I wanna say I could have gone into Uni anytime I wanted.

But I cannot say that, because there is no proof. -Xiaxue


Just in case you're wondering all these fuss I created is at all necessary. This post alone took me 3 hours to write. 1/2 an hour to recheck my sentences and whether I'm making it too hard for you to read. You want to be a good blogger? You want to be the next Xiaxue? You gotta do 1000 times better than me. Because 1000 times of me should give you 100,000 readers per day.


So for the meanwhile, this will be my last entry in this blog. Throughout this journey, I earned myself Rm20 from Ejunction ads, Rm26 USD through paypal (which I spent to buy a shirt and they charge me 9.50USD for shipping fees!), Rm10.74 from Nuffnang which I think I'll probably not be able to cash it out as I haven reached the minimum earnings, 5 crappy USD from Google Adsense (useless thing) and a 3-6 month (Rm300 per month) blogging job which I recently talked over with a guy. I wonder if he stills wanna hire me after I stop blogging. And by far my greatest achievement in blogging is having Kenny Sia blog plug me and having Xiaxue replying my comment to her post. I know, they are totally useless in getting me a permanent job, to feed my wife and kids.


Whoever you are my readers, God bless you richly. I still have 83 members in my crappy friendster fans club! Live and let live, they are all my friends.


Goodbye guys. I love you all. *Smile warmly and wave my hand as I slowly fade away, just like the movie usually does.........*

Just right before you leave a comment, I hope you could for once play this song I have below. Please do it before you leave a possibly angry, contradicting and discouraging comment. Cheers.



First of May - Bee Gees



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25 Comments:

  • At 11:41 AM , Blogger SuLee said...

    whats so good about being a scholar? their lives are so predictable, you go to school and get good results, go to university get your degree, master and phd the most. then you work, get married hv kids and worked more till you rich or live in a comfortable life. then u die and pass all the money to your spoilt children or scholar children.

    sighhh sadly that is the kind of life i chose. I am boring

     
  • At 12:34 PM , Blogger wenphei~!! said...

    I think as with everything else in life, studying is a matter of priorities. Is there something in your life that you want to achieve? Yes. And you have to get there by studying? Yes. Since you want it, you must work for it.

    I wasn't particularly fond of studying like a madwoman in secondary school myself. But back then, I had aspired so badly to become a doctor. And knowing competition is so tough for medicine courses in the IPTA, and being unable to afford private studies, it was clear IPTA was my only shot at, as so to speak, making my aspiration a reality.

    Fast forward 4 years on, I am now in medicine, STILL studying my ass off, but on hindsight, the hard work back then was worth every minute of it.

    Life's a matter of choices, and knowing what you want.

    All the best. There's something special about you that will take you far, only if you allow yourself to.

     
  • At 1:21 PM , Anonymous Andrew Ho said...

    Thank you.

     
  • At 3:30 PM , Blogger aSstHa said...

    I will miss your blogging. For a 17 going on 18 year old you have a good head screwed on to those shoulders.

    I never has thoughts as deep and profound back when I was your age (was a bit spoilt myself) but the roads I decided to take was never right/wrong but in the end it made me who I am today and for that I'm grateful I did what I did back then.

    Life will throw us all curveball at one stage of our time. Don't worry. I personally did not complete my studies (jz finished up to dip level) due to "certain" circumstances but if you ask me did I regret not being able to enjoy college/uni life? I'll truthfully answer yes. I did regret not being able to enjoy what my friends enjoyed back then but you know what andrew? I'm blessed because when my friends were studying/enjoying life abroad, I was thrown into reality world of work... Now I've already passed that stage in my life but some of my friends are just taking those baby steps (not all of them of course, some are more street savvy)

    Remember when a door closes, another door will open. Only we stare too long at the closed door that we fail to see the one open to us before it's too late.

    I wish you well my fren as you embark on another journey but bare this in mind, it doesn't matter what paper you hold at the end of the day (sure it gives you a head start), it is your people skills. If you show a bit humility in the working world, people are more inclined to teach you. Don't be a know it all. From experience.

    This is not goodbye. Til we meet again... My fren. You'll be missed.
    *hUgZ*

     
  • At 4:12 PM , Blogger Kenny Mah said...

    Ah. Well. And I only just got to know you. Sighs.

    But I agree with Asstha --- when one door closes, another one opens. I wish you the best, that you will make the most of all your opportunities, and that you will always be surrounded by people who love you and believe in you.

    Go forth, bro and go grab what you want in your life! :)

     
  • At 6:21 PM , Anonymous Andrew Ho said...

    Thank you so much for the kind advise everybody, God bless you all =)

     
  • At 11:00 PM , Blogger Big Rice said...

    u r really stopping?

    I know what u mean. To really come up with a good post, an article has to be vetted through many times although i am not a good writer myself, but in theory, i know..

    but whatever it is, all the best to you!

     
  • At 4:12 AM , Anonymous Hui Hsing said...

    Just as I start following your entries, you're quitting. Anyway, good luck in your future undertakings.
    Have you ever thought that arts is more for you and you should consider a change once and for all? Well, I couldn't get myself to do that for the first 20 years of my life and just made the commitment and it was liberating!
    So do you have some "unconventional" plan for your intellectual pursuits? Do share with me! I am a good resource too, if you will.

     
  • At 8:10 AM , Anonymous Andrew Ho said...

    Thank you Big Rice. I would like to continue in science Hui Hsing. Although my portfolio doesn't show me brilliant in it, I'm just an irritating salmon fish that likes to go against the flow. (trust me, if it wasn't because of blogging,I'd hav gotten better results easily, I know it....myself) Tee hee. Anyway, thank you very much lah.

     
  • At 12:12 PM , Blogger "Joe" who is constantly craving said...

    eh no more blogging ar?.. i just got used to ur obnoxious style..haha still think you cannot beat me in bragging yet but wat the heck..hey..if you think u want to do science go ahead and do..but do pause and analyse at times..sometimes u need a spot check of yourself..after all, if u r made for the sky..why go underwater..just because u want go against god will?

     
  • At 1:34 PM , Anonymous Andrew Ho said...

    Hi joe, I'm made to conquer both the heavens and the waters. God's will is for me to prosper. C ya!

     
  • At 5:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    you are a god andrew, i'll miss your writings so much.

     
  • At 5:04 PM , Blogger Hor ny Ang Moh said...

    Yeah I am going to miss u too eventhough I seldom coment on ur entry as some of it is too deep for me to understand. Wish u the best in whatever u r going to do.

     
  • At 8:10 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    finally.. no more of Andrew.. phew...

    good riddence..

    nah, jk buddy..

    we'll all miss you here at the bar..

     
  • At 1:46 AM , Blogger Bena said...

    Don't fade away just yet. I read you blog and I love it. This particular post sounded like a dark comedy. Nice blog nice blog.

     
  • At 9:51 AM , Blogger ConvicteD said...

    I feel sad...

    I like ur blog, it actually gives me inspiration to blog as well but now, there will be one less good blogger...fare well andrew and may god bless you in what you do...

    KaynE...

     
  • At 9:55 AM , Blogger aims said...

    Funny I've only just realised you have quit blogging. Well, it's always good to know that one phase in your life is over and it's time you moved on to another phase. And most importantly, it's always good to know clearly what you want and how to get it. So good luck in your future endeavours! =)

     
  • At 4:41 PM , Blogger adam brown said...

    look this is the "diet" i told you about you should really enter the site :) bye enter the site

     
  • At 2:17 AM , Blogger barb michelen said...

    Hello I just entered before I have to leave to the airport, it's been very nice to meet you, if you want here is the site I told you about where I type some stuff and make good money (I work from home): here it is

     
  • At 5:20 PM , Blogger Elween said...

    hey this is my first to your blog, yet it's your last post...i scan thru your other posts too..well, hope you will come back and revive your blog when you are ready! :)

    and plz don't ever mention xiaxue..argh...

     
  • At 2:04 PM , Blogger mhyles said...

    hi pls add me on friendster sassy_bench@yahoo.com thanks

     
  • At 2:04 PM , Blogger mhyles said...

    hi pls add me on friendster sassy_bench@yahoo.com thanks

     
  • At 2:04 PM , Blogger mhyles said...

    hi pls add me on friendster sassy_bench@yahoo.com thanks

     
  • At 12:02 AM , Blogger bernard n. shull said...

    i did a little research after you told me about your "thing", and if you want a way to make more money using your your blog you can enter this site: link. bye.

     
  • At 8:52 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Seeing these kind of posts reminds me of just how technology truly is something we cannot live without in this day and age, and I can say with 99% certainty that we have passed the point of no return in our relationship with technology.


    I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as the price of memory falls, the possibility of uploading our memories onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's a fantasy that I daydream about every once in a while.


    (Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=http://kwstar88.livejournal.com/491.html]R4 SDHC[/url] DS OperaV2)

     

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