A sense of belonging

When I was a little boy. I was a very quiet kid. I did not mix very well with the other children. Somehow I was just not interested, I used to have my own worlds and imaginations. And I couldn't be bothered more about others. Many really thought that I was somehow weird, and to a certain level I was really different. In between that, fearing to deal and ask of what is going on in the inside, people like me convince ourselves that we are unique, special and different from others, we justify ourselves and call us people with deep thoughts, greater wisdom and artistic when the simple truth is, we are just trying to cover up how lonely we are inside. As a result we become temperamental, unpredictable and very hard to be with by others. So I grew up and spent my primary years, sub-consciously, perhaps, feeling a little rejected, a little abandoned and a little lost in this big wide world. It took me a lot of courage to finally deal with myself, sit down and question my inner man and soul that what was actually going on. Along the way I learned that we all, though of different age or nationality or colour, we all need to feel a lot, a great amount of a sense of belonging. So I grew up and get a little older, along the teenage years even until today, I learned that I was constantly striving to earn people's attention. I need to know that I am important. The consequences are, many at times, I acted and did many stupid things. To express how much of myself, yearning for people to acknowledge me, I started to write poetries, short stories and plays, took up courage to learn public speaking skills and ended up more like a comedian. I finally realised that there is a great part of me that yearned to communicate with people. But the bottom-line was, I wanted people to accept me, I wanted a sense of belonging, where I can feel love rather than rejection, seeing hope and joy rather than the sense of abundance or the killing chill of loneliness. I learned from my teenage years, that we all like empty bottles are constantly waiting to be filled. And if not, we will keep on, doing what we should do, to earn that certain sense of security, of love, acceptance and of home. And many times, it will result in merely irrational actions that would hurt not only ourselves but others. My question here is, how about you? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Daily Blog...